Adoption Issues of Adopted Children
Loss of Family Heritage
Preserving an adopted child's heritage has become a central issue in adoption over the last fifteen years. It is often assumed that adopting babies at a very young age (1-2 months) bears no emotional consequences for the child.
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Normally, the caseworker helps the birthmother prepare for a meeting with the adoptive parents. The caseworker should orient the birthmother of important background information about the adoptive parents.
As a birthmother, let
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In the past, many adoption professionals believed that because most people have no recollection of their own birth, an adopted baby would not have a childhood any different from that which he would have had if he had been raised by his biological parents. However, while some adoptees do not feel that adoption has raised any special problems or difficulties for them, others report that adoption has posed certain challenges.
Recent work on openness in adoption has attempted to address these issues.
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To welcome a new member in your family is a reason to celebrate. You can opt to have a special welcome party for your adopted child. Invite close friends and relatives
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Researchers such as Joyce Maguire Pavao and others have advised all three sides of the adoption triad (birthparents, adoptive parents, and adoptees) on how to establish healthy relationships, and make it easier for adopted people to discuss their feelings and maintain meaningful contact with both genetic and adoptive families. These efforts are relatively recent, and full openness, while on the upswing, is still not the norm in adoption.
International adoptees face additional challenges. It has been argued that children adopted through international adoptions are best served when adoptive families commit to integrating the child's birth nation cultures, traditions, stories, languages and relationships.
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The Internet is a good venue for you to adopt a child. Most adoption websites will help you get through with the adoption process. Here are some factors that you will
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Some countries now require adoptive parents to keep the birth names of their adoptive children, and many adoptive parents choose to do this as it makes sense in helping their child develop a strong sense of self. This can be very difficult to do in a meaningful way, especially for adoptive families who are not themselves experienced cross-culturally.
Another issue for prospective adoptive parents to be aware of is reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Many children, especially those beyond infancy in system care (e.g. foster, orphanage), domestic or foreign, develop this disorder due to the early trauma of loss, and/or lack of a primary caregiver.
For all adopted people in adoptions where information about the family of origin is withheld, secrecy may disrupt the process of forming an identity. Family concerns regarding genealogy can be a source of confusion.
Adoption is problematic for some birthparents. When a parent chooses to place the child with adoptive parents, the process of separation can be difficult for all parties.
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The length of adoption depends on the type of adoption you have chosen. Normally it could be as short as a month or it can take longer than a year.
--- permission
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Those emotional difficulties may carry on for many years past the date of the adoption, with families of origin missing and longing for the children they have placed.
Adoption may also pose lifelong difficulties for adoptive parents. Charting a course among the various schools of thought about openness, maintaining a child's connection to his or her family of origin, answering a child's difficult questions, and helping a child deal with birthparents who may not maintain regular contact are all issues that adoptive families may struggle with. For anyone involved in adoption--birthparent, adoptive parent or adoptee--there are no hard and fast rules about how to build appropriate relationships that are in the child's best interest.
Honesty Issues
Some adoptees report that that they were made to feel - consciously or not - as if they should forever be grateful to have been "chosen".
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Like adoptive parents, birth mothers will also need support. There are various ways to make the placement easier to cope for birth mothers:
- Birth mothers can schedule counseling with a
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This confuses children who otherwise feel very good about their adoptive families, and so expect an unconditional love relationship with their adoptive parents.
Others report that they were told they were "special" but soon came to realize that most people are not motivated to adopt by any perception that adopted children are preferable to biological children. Still others report being told that "your mother gave you to us because she loved you", but soon became aware that in closed adoptions, the adoptive parents and the legal system may both assume that the birth parents no longer wish to see the child.
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This leads some adopted people to wonder whether their natural parents ever loved them, or whether their adoptive parents can be trusted to tell the truth.
This kind of ambiguity in adoption, along with the strongly emotionally charged nature of the subject, can make it difficult for adoptees to feel free to discuss their own issues honestly, for fear of being ungrateful, hurting their adoptive parents' feelings, raising subjects they sense are taboo (such as the adoptive parents' true reasons for adopting, especially if this involves infertility) or incurring rejection.
Abuse, Neglect, and Carelessness
Some adoptive parents may show less than normal interest in their children's well-being. Some studies indicate that parental neglect, carelessness, and abuse is dramatically higher for adopted children. As such, adopted children are much more likely to die prematurely, on the whole, than naturally born children.
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("Risk of maltreatment death also was elevated for children residing with step, foster, or adoptive parents" - Pediatrics; Apr2002, Vol. 109 Issue 4, p615, 7p, 1bw) (The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature, 1995, Penguin Books, ISBN 0140245480, chapter 7, claims 65 times increase in risk of death)
(Thanks to Wikipedia for this helpful Adoption guide.)
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