And I am just as interested in hearing ideas people have in regards to the second part of your question.

As for me I have adopted children who were already living in orphanages who did not have any family, at least any family that wants them (as far as I know, unless I am proven otherwise).

I am unapologetic about adopting them because at the time I did not see any better solution where they could received care that was better than what I could offer them. My children do not loose their culture or their language as I am from the same background. Life for them is now full of possibilites that they would never have otherwise if they stayed in the orphanage.

This is going to sound harsh, but do you think these countries save what they consider the best children for IA’s to adopt? Sadly no, they give away the children that do not suit their ideals.

Example, at my daughters orphanage, I was told that locals who do adopt specifically ask for light skinned children. Considering that they are living in a tropical climate and kids like playing outside in the sun, most kids are “dark”, so what happens to those children. Nobody wants them at home, so they give them away to foreigners who do want them.

How about changing the local attitudes first.

My kids are lucky not to have to grow up with those stupid attitudes. I know, because I had to deal with those prejudices when I was living there, and I was only a child as well.

I would even think, they are now in a better position and certainly will have more financial resources to find their first family when or if they finally want to.

I just don’t think an orphanage is any place for someone to grow up. Every child deserves to have a family whether they are with their natural family, adopted or even an honorary family. There is just stability that one can’t really get from living in an orphanage or even bouncing around the Foster Care System.

Try and make the conditions of children living in orphanages better. I know its hard many are too short staffed and have many children. Most children probably get very limited one on one time if they even get any at all. I am sure many depend greatly on some of the volunteers if they have any. Funding is not the greatest many depend on donations in the case R mentioned its even harder if the State/country is not helping out some financially.

Maybe they can encourage trying to place a child first among someone in their native land. That’s how the Native Americans do it their last option to place is outside Native Americans but even then they have rules and regulations to keep the child active/knowledgeable in their tribal culture.

Now, of course, that doesn’t mean that the choice is, or at least it doesn’t have to remain, between international adoption or institutional living. Efforts could be made for infrastructure building in places where many children are orphaned, foster care, domestic adoption, etc. I guess I believe that there are many children institutionalized at the moment with an immediate need for international adoption and many children in the future needing us to work to reduce that need.

Now, many children are adopted internationally when they aren’t institutionalized in their birth country. And my daughter was one of them. She was in foster care. In all honesty, she would have had her basic needs met in her birth country and could have kept the part of herself intact that is severed by international adoption. Overall, was what was gained for her worth it? You know, I don’t think I’ll ever know. I’m just going to give her all I can, help her connect to all that she came from, and hope she remains the joyful little girl she is today.

Donations, education, foreign policy, all these things have their place and should continue. But every one of these things is geared toward addressing the underlying problem as to why there are so many children in orphanages in the first place. This is also very important, but it does little to address the needs of the children already in an orphanage.

I don’t see international adoption as a long term solution to the problems in third world countries. It’s a band aid, at best. But for many countries, it remains a necessary band-aid, right now.

ETA: I think there are some pretty big misconceptions about what a truly impoverished country is actually able to provide for children in orphanages. Domestic adoption within the country is preferable, problem is, it’s not feasible for most countries. Orphanages can be run by some pretty corrupt people who keep as many children as possible in order to get more UNICEF aid, which is sold on the black market. In the meantime, the children aren’t getting the clean water and foodstuffs. I’d been to some pretty poor parts of Mexico before we adopted and there was nothing NOTHING that could have prepared me for what I saw in Liberia. The problem is that many perceptions of what can be done AT THIS TIME, are simply not possible.