5 Responses to “What are the requirements to adopt a child with a closed adoption?”

1. Gaia Raain II on August 29th, 2009 6:40 pm
   

   Adoption Feedback: If you adopt through foster care, it’s free. The requirements are that you need to be able to meet the child’s needs, financially, emotionally (i.e. understand the tremendous loss inherent in separating families), mentally, etc. You’ll have a lot of paperwork to get through, and they’ll explain any additional requirements as you go along.

   If you’d like to adopt an infant, the requirements are lots of money to line the pockets of the agency’s workers and management, and a belief that other women’s children exist to fulfill your dreams…and that other women are only vessels to carry YOUR child for you. (Often, when PAP’s notice that the infant adoption process is inherently shady, and they attempt to speak to the mother about other options, they are cut off from contact with her, and the adoption agency will refuse to work with them again.)

   I could be off base here, but the wording of your question suggests that you are interesting in adoption as a method of fulfilling yourself. So that you know, adoption is supposed to be about meeting the needs of children, NOT fulfilling the wants of adults. Children who have lost their entire family do not have the emotional resources to be the dream child you’ve always wanted. Please learn about adoption from the point of view of the adoptees (and the first parents) before moving forward with your plans.
2. Bodhi on September 2nd, 2009 6:07 am
   

   Adoption Feedback: I think this is a good link to get you started:

   It’s not what you asked for; it’s the link to the first results page when you type in “adoption search” on Google. Each one of those results represents thousands – millions – of adoptees who are searching for any grain of information about themselves. Ethnicity. Medical History. Do they have siblings? Does anyone else in the world look like them? Take a look. Those are real people, who are hurting terribly. I don’t mean to be cruel, but please consider the fact that perhaps your child will be posting there someday.

   I am the child of a closed adoption. My life was a good one, and my adoption a positive experience. But I grew up wondering all those things I just listed, and many more. I wonder if you’ve thought about your child completing the “family tree” exercise in 4th grade? Did you know that when it came time for me to complete that, my teacher said, in front of the whole class, that I could just go to the library while everyone else worked on that assignment? Do you want that for your child?

   I’m also, like you, a prospective adoptive parent. I understand the desire to bond with a child and the questions around navigating the First Family/Adoptive Family relationship. I’m an adult though, and I can navigate those waters. Our (me, my husbands, and the First Mother/Father’s) child’s needs come before mine, plain and simple; I have lived the life of “history beginning with me” and having to put on the cloak of an identity that never quite fit. It doesn’t diminish the love I have for my parents in any way – that is enormous and can never be shaken – but I had the right to know who I was, just like everyone else. And I don’t. I will never do that to a child, and I hope that something that I’ve said here will get you to consider not doing it to yours.
3. Randy B on September 4th, 2009 12:15 pm
   

   Adoption Feedback: Simply contact an adoption agency in your area and speak to an intake worker. They will answer any of your questions regarding the processes, wait times and the costs involved.

   Also, contact social services in your area and enquire about adopting children already in their system. While they are in “foster care” they are not foster children waiting to go back to their birth parents. They are children permenantly removed from their birth families for any number of reasons and they are currently living in foster homes waiting to be adopted. They are all sized, shapes, colours and ages and I’m sure that there would be someone perfect for your family just waiting. Adoptions through foster care are also free in most areas or have very minimal costs (under $1000).
4. Sylvia H on September 6th, 2009 4:58 am
   

   Adoption Feedback: Im sorry that some people have been rude to you on here^^.
   It seems that they ‘know’ a lot about adoption but nothing about manners and respect.

   I can understand why you want closed adoption. It’s a lot easier on the child to grow up with one mom and one dad. It would be so confusing for them to have someone stopping by every week or two claiming they are their birth mom.

   And so what if you want a kid to fulfill your dreams of being a mother? You have to want to be a mom before you can fulfill the children’s needs. I would be worried if you hopped on here and said “I hate children but i kind of feel bad for the ones who don’t have a mother and father so I’m going to adopt one to take care of it, but i don’t really want one….” The people above me went a overboard with criticizing you. Adoption requires you to want a child and a family, and to want to give that child a family. You’re not being unreasonable with your question at all.

   Here’s a link for fees/costs varying by agencies:

   Also, explore the site for your other questions-there’s an answer to all of your questions on that site.

   Good luck and ignore the rude ones.
5. Nicole on September 9th, 2009 6:42 am
   

   Adoption Feedback: I am adopted via closed adoption. I met my birth siblings. I have too much respect for my adoptive parents to do that to them i feel like it would make them uncomfortable. If you do this, you need to make sure your child has no trace of their past. the internet makes it very easy to find people i did 5 years ago, at 14. from a hospital bracelet and a picture that had my sisters name on it so i myspaced her.

   Anyways, you have to go through social services and they have to come and inspect your house interview family and friends. They go through a lot. I know you need an attorney. i was adopted in in 1989 and it cost my parents $26,000. and in 1998 when my brother was born it was $29,000. Keep in mind you do get most of the money back on your tax return if i am correct.

   – dont worry about the ignorant comment i saw about you not being ready to adopt. I understand where you are coming from. Open adoption makes a lot of feelings come about. From personal experience i am greatful i am adopted and i want to have a closed adoption with my children also.

   good luck. and if you need any advice about telling your child or questions for me as an adopted child feel free to e-mail me =]

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