Embryo Adoptions
February 26, 2010 by Adoption Information and Laws
Filed under About Adoption
For many couples desperately trying to bear children, infertility is a reality. Usually, a couple with fertility problems attempts many chances at having a biological family—including in vitro fertilizations. Many couples wish to experience the joy of carrying and giving birth to a child, but physically cannot produce a viable embryo. After trying all viable options, many couples give up hope. However, there is an option that has given infertile couples the ability to have children, even if they are not biologically their own. If a woman is capable of carrying a child to term, this option may be the light at the end of the infertility tunnel. Embryo adoption allows an adoptive couple who cannot conceive on their own the ability to carry and give birth to that life, creating a family of their own.
When a couple tries in vitro fertilization, egg and sperm are combined in a laboratory setting to create embryos. These embryos are then frozen using a cryogenic process to keep the embryo alive. Only one of these embryos is implanted, leaving the rest sitting in the preservation freezer waiting for the couple to make a decision. If the couple does not want more children, they can donate the embryos to be used by an infertile couple. Several organizations deal especially in embryo adoption and accept embryo donation from generous couples. One such organization, The National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) was created to provide options for the couples facing the problem of what to do with these embryos. Another organization, Snowflakes Embryo Adoption, is part of the organization Nightlight Christian Adoptions. Nightlight specializes in assisting all potential adoptive parents with traditional adoptions or embryo adoptions. Before embryo adoption, couples were forced to either destroy the embryos or donate them as research subjects.
Embryo donations can be either open or anonymous adoptions. Upon donation of the embryos, the donating couple can choose to reveal their personal information to those who become parents and carry the embryo. Similarly, couples interested in adoption can request the adoption to be conducted anonymously. Since adoption can only take place after the child has been born, using the term “adoption” for this process is somewhat of a misnomer. Embryo adoption is a legal proceeding that involves specific documentation. Unlike adoption, when the child is born, the names of the adoptive parents will appear on the birth certificate. Once the legally-binding donation contract has been signed, the donating couple cannot place any claim on the child, especially after the child’s birth.
Just like in vitro fertilization, embryo adoption is not guaranteed to result in a pregnancy or a child. Unfortunately, only about two-third of the embryos survive the thawing process. There is only a 20 to 25 percent chance embryo implantation will successfully result in a pregnancy. However, if a couple desires to carry and give birth to a child, these chances may be their best bet.
Economically speaking, embryo adoption runs about a third the amount of standard in vitro fertilization. For many couples, the economic aspect of infertility treatments result in closing many doors. In addition to these costs, travel expenses must be included since many organizations require you visit their location for initial screening and the actual implantation process. If the first embryo implantation does not result in pregnancy, the couple usually has a couple of additional chances. The embryo adoption process at NEDC provides couples with three chances of implantation of the adoptive embryos. Much like in vitro fertilization, the more chances necessary for embryo adoption increases the cost. Granted this is a small price for the joy of giving birth to a child and creating a family, it is outside of the means of some infertile couples. Before embarking on the embryo adoption experience, all decisions need to be made to ensure this process is an option.
Embryo adoption gives couples with the inability to have biological children but have the desire and love to start a family a second chance. To decide if embryo adoption may be an option for your and to learn more about the process, consult the Snowflakes website at www.nightlight.org/snowflakeslanding.asp or the National Embryo Donation Center at www.embryodonation.org.
Copyright 2005 by Dana Sanders. All rights reserved.
Thanks to Dana Sanders for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
When a couple tries in vitro fertilization, egg and sperm are combined in a laboratory setting to create embryos. These embryos are then frozen using a cryogenic process to keep the embryo alive. Only one of these embryos is implanted, leaving the rest sitting in the preservation freezer waiting for the couple to make a decision. If the couple does not want more children, they can donate the embryos to be used by an infertile couple. Several organizations deal especially in embryo adoption and accept embryo donation from generous couples. One such organization, The National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) was created to provide options for the couples facing the problem of what to do with these embryos. Another organization, Snowflakes Embryo Adoption, is part of the organization Nightlight Christian Adoptions. Nightlight specializes in assisting all potential adoptive parents with traditional adoptions or embryo adoptions. Before embryo adoption, couples were forced to either destroy the embryos or donate them as research subjects.
Embryo donations can be either open or anonymous adoptions. Upon donation of the embryos, the donating couple can choose to reveal their personal information to those who become parents and carry the embryo. Similarly, couples interested in adoption can request the adoption to be conducted anonymously. Since adoption can only take place after the child has been born, using the term “adoption” for this process is somewhat of a misnomer. Embryo adoption is a legal proceeding that involves specific documentation. Unlike adoption, when the child is born, the names of the adoptive parents will appear on the birth certificate. Once the legally-binding donation contract has been signed, the donating couple cannot place any claim on the child, especially after the child’s birth.
Just like in vitro fertilization, embryo adoption is not guaranteed to result in a pregnancy or a child. Unfortunately, only about two-third of the embryos survive the thawing process. There is only a 20 to 25 percent chance embryo implantation will successfully result in a pregnancy. However, if a couple desires to carry and give birth to a child, these chances may be their best bet.
Economically speaking, embryo adoption runs about a third the amount of standard in vitro fertilization. For many couples, the economic aspect of infertility treatments result in closing many doors. In addition to these costs, travel expenses must be included since many organizations require you visit their location for initial screening and the actual implantation process. If the first embryo implantation does not result in pregnancy, the couple usually has a couple of additional chances. The embryo adoption process at NEDC provides couples with three chances of implantation of the adoptive embryos. Much like in vitro fertilization, the more chances necessary for embryo adoption increases the cost. Granted this is a small price for the joy of giving birth to a child and creating a family, it is outside of the means of some infertile couples. Before embarking on the embryo adoption experience, all decisions need to be made to ensure this process is an option.
Embryo adoption gives couples with the inability to have biological children but have the desire and love to start a family a second chance. To decide if embryo adoption may be an option for your and to learn more about the process, consult the Snowflakes website at www.nightlight.org/snowflakeslanding.asp or the National Embryo Donation Center at www.embryodonation.org.
Copyright 2005 by Dana Sanders. All rights reserved.
Thanks to Dana Sanders for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Looking for information about adoption? Go to http://www.aaadoption.com All About Adoption is an Adoption and Infertility Information Directory and Resource Site which provides a consolidated listing of the best Adoption and Infertility sites in one easy to navigate location.
The Pediatrician’s Role in Adoption
February 10, 2010 by Adoption Information and Laws
Filed under About Adoption
Daniel and Megan felt drawn to the little dark-haired child they had seen in the orphanage half way around the world, but they felt they had more questions than answers. “Where do we start?” Megan asked as we spoke on the phone. The adoption agency needed a response and they felt frozen in their fear. After receiving guidance and answers from other adoptive parents who had the same questions as Daniel and Megan, they soon brought home their little daughter. Megan shared later how the advice to seek a pediatrician early in the process helped them learn what to expect in their adoption and to have a realistic view of the challenges they might face. Now, six years later, they have adopted two more children, another girl and a boy from the same country.
When considering adoption, parents should always consult a pediatrician. Pediatricians with knowledge of the special needs of older children or international adoptions can be a wealth of information regarding issues that may arise with your adoptive child. They can provide vital information before the adoption, help with the decision making while in the process of adoption,
and assist with on-going issues after the adoption.
Discussing your plans to adopt with a pediatrician will give you much needed information about psychological and medical needs that your adoptive child may have. Your pediatrician can explain some medical problems common to newly adopted children. They may discuss issues of attachment, loss, and grief that adoptive children often go through. Your pediatrician may also discuss physical and medical issues that your adoptive child may be facing.
Meeting with your pediatrician before you start the adoption process will bring medical and mental health issues to light that you possibly were not aware of before. Such a meeting helped Megan and Daniel decide to adopt two more children. They gained knowledge and confidence, and their fear was minimized.
After starting the adoption process, a pediatrician can be an invaluable asset to you. If you are able, bring the medical and mental health records of the child to your pediatrician; they can explain specific issues to you. Often you will have a list of all the diagnoses that have been assigned to your child.
A pediatrician can explain them in terminology that you can understand and discuss possible long-term problems of particular disorders. For example, if a child has a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder, your pediatrician can explain behaviors that are typical and problems other parents have had in dealing with their children. Your pediatrician will also model some language choices that you may not have thought of previously. For example, most pediatricians will refer to all the siblings in a family as brother or sister not ‘adopted brother’ or ‘adopted sister.’
Pediatricians are careful not to say ‘natural parent’ when speaking of the child’s birth parent. The term ‘natural parent’ implies that you are then the ‘unnatural parent.’ You must be comfortable talking openly with your pediatrician about all medical issues relating to the adoption of a new member into your family. If you do not already have a family pediatrician, ask other adoptive parents for recommendations and then interview several different pediatricians to find one that seems to best fit you and your family.
Some questions may be difficult for you to ask but will probably reveal the most important information to you. For instance, you may hear that a child you wanted to adopt is going to have a lot of medical issues that you don’t think you can handle. By discussing those issues openly, you will be able to prepare yourself fully for the adoption of your child. Or, after discussing the possible medical issues, you may decide not right for you. Do not be afraid to ask a lot of questions.
Your pediatrician’s job is to help you be the best parent you can be. Of course, your pediatrician will be of extreme help to you throughout your child’s life.
Thanks to Mardie Caldwell, COAP for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
When considering adoption, parents should always consult a pediatrician. Pediatricians with knowledge of the special needs of older children or international adoptions can be a wealth of information regarding issues that may arise with your adoptive child. They can provide vital information before the adoption, help with the decision making while in the process of adoption,
and assist with on-going issues after the adoption.
Discussing your plans to adopt with a pediatrician will give you much needed information about psychological and medical needs that your adoptive child may have. Your pediatrician can explain some medical problems common to newly adopted children. They may discuss issues of attachment, loss, and grief that adoptive children often go through. Your pediatrician may also discuss physical and medical issues that your adoptive child may be facing.
Meeting with your pediatrician before you start the adoption process will bring medical and mental health issues to light that you possibly were not aware of before. Such a meeting helped Megan and Daniel decide to adopt two more children. They gained knowledge and confidence, and their fear was minimized.
After starting the adoption process, a pediatrician can be an invaluable asset to you. If you are able, bring the medical and mental health records of the child to your pediatrician; they can explain specific issues to you. Often you will have a list of all the diagnoses that have been assigned to your child.
A pediatrician can explain them in terminology that you can understand and discuss possible long-term problems of particular disorders. For example, if a child has a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder, your pediatrician can explain behaviors that are typical and problems other parents have had in dealing with their children. Your pediatrician will also model some language choices that you may not have thought of previously. For example, most pediatricians will refer to all the siblings in a family as brother or sister not ‘adopted brother’ or ‘adopted sister.’
Pediatricians are careful not to say ‘natural parent’ when speaking of the child’s birth parent. The term ‘natural parent’ implies that you are then the ‘unnatural parent.’ You must be comfortable talking openly with your pediatrician about all medical issues relating to the adoption of a new member into your family. If you do not already have a family pediatrician, ask other adoptive parents for recommendations and then interview several different pediatricians to find one that seems to best fit you and your family.
Some questions may be difficult for you to ask but will probably reveal the most important information to you. For instance, you may hear that a child you wanted to adopt is going to have a lot of medical issues that you don’t think you can handle. By discussing those issues openly, you will be able to prepare yourself fully for the adoption of your child. Or, after discussing the possible medical issues, you may decide not right for you. Do not be afraid to ask a lot of questions.
Your pediatrician’s job is to help you be the best parent you can be. Of course, your pediatrician will be of extreme help to you throughout your child’s life.
Thanks to Mardie Caldwell, COAP for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, an award winning author of 2 adoption books Adopting Online and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide. Mardie is also the talk show host of Let’s Talk Adoption.com with Mardie Caldwell and the founder of Lifetime Adoption in 1986. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox. Featured in Parade Magazine, Caldwell is an adoptive mother living in Northern California.
International Adoption – Reasons For Its Popularity Among North Americans
January 30, 2010 by Adoption Information and Laws
Filed under About Adoption
, there may be legal complications as well as state and provincial adoption law matters as well as foreign immigration laws to deal with effectively, which gets further complicated with additional issues like language differences and cultural aspects that also need to be considered in order to make the adoption a successful one. Due to these reasons, an International adoption process comes with added tension for some and fees for this type of adoption process may be quite high, including travel overseas.
Even though babies are aplenty in countries like China, Columbia, Russia, Romania, Vietnam and Korea and thus, the waiting period considerably less for American and Canadian couples looking to adopt, the legal processes are different from those in their native countries and require many expenses such as hiring a suitable and expert foreign adoption agency, going through pre- and post-adoptive formalities, clarify the age-group, sex, race and health conditions for their preferred adoptive child. This freedom is curtailed a bit in China as most children given up for adoption are girls but, other countries do allow prospective parents to select a child based on a series of photographs after going through various applications an agency or the central registry of the child’s country of origin that has these records.
However, these are not the only concerns involving an International adoption: among the major drawbacks a couple considering foreign adoption are the series of cumulative expenses on their shoulders. Fees for foreign adoption range from fifteen thousand to thirty thousand dollars and since adoptive parents are requried to bear legal as well as administrative costs, just attending to the costs of translating documents, using the services fo a notary, travel and living besides medical needs brings the expenses up considerably. All of these costs depend on how much time is spent in the foreign country finding a child to adopt and these figures may differ, based on this factor.
But, all is not lost for those couples looking at foreign adoptions and willing to learn about a different culture while using their valid passports to build their family; getting a child is quicker through International adoption as many children may be abandoned or brought up in orphanage that the hurdle of a birth mother backing out on her decision doesn’t exist. Besides, there are children available for adoption at all times and the rules and eligibility criteria for American couples is easier overseas than it is in North America.
Once, couples have armed themselves with proper, updated information and laws regarding International adoption and have the time and finances resources to travel and stay overseas for finding their adoptive child, cutting through the red tapism, language barriers and eliminating the fraudulent intercessors comes naturally if they keep their eyes and ears open to these existing challenges.
Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Even though babies are aplenty in countries like China, Columbia, Russia, Romania, Vietnam and Korea and thus, the waiting period considerably less for American and Canadian couples looking to adopt, the legal processes are different from those in their native countries and require many expenses such as hiring a suitable and expert foreign adoption agency, going through pre- and post-adoptive formalities, clarify the age-group, sex, race and health conditions for their preferred adoptive child. This freedom is curtailed a bit in China as most children given up for adoption are girls but, other countries do allow prospective parents to select a child based on a series of photographs after going through various applications an agency or the central registry of the child’s country of origin that has these records.
However, these are not the only concerns involving an International adoption: among the major drawbacks a couple considering foreign adoption are the series of cumulative expenses on their shoulders. Fees for foreign adoption range from fifteen thousand to thirty thousand dollars and since adoptive parents are requried to bear legal as well as administrative costs, just attending to the costs of translating documents, using the services fo a notary, travel and living besides medical needs brings the expenses up considerably. All of these costs depend on how much time is spent in the foreign country finding a child to adopt and these figures may differ, based on this factor.
But, all is not lost for those couples looking at foreign adoptions and willing to learn about a different culture while using their valid passports to build their family; getting a child is quicker through International adoption as many children may be abandoned or brought up in orphanage that the hurdle of a birth mother backing out on her decision doesn’t exist. Besides, there are children available for adoption at all times and the rules and eligibility criteria for American couples is easier overseas than it is in North America.
Once, couples have armed themselves with proper, updated information and laws regarding International adoption and have the time and finances resources to travel and stay overseas for finding their adoptive child, cutting through the red tapism, language barriers and eliminating the fraudulent intercessors comes naturally if they keep their eyes and ears open to these existing challenges.
Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Abhishek has got some great Adoption Secrets up his sleeve! Download his FREE 76 Pages Ebook, “Adoption Made Easy” from his website http://www.Better-Parent.com/122/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.
Meeting Your Adoptive Child For The First Time – How To Prepare Yourself
January 6, 2010 by Adoption Information and Laws
Filed under About Adoption
One of the goals that prospective parents have is getting to meet the child they are considering adopting, a child who will become special to them. This makes all the time and lengthy procedure all worthwhile in the end. Once the adoption agency have informed the couple that they are to meet the child, this becomes their priority.
There could be an advantage to private adoption. Prospective parents may be able to meet the birth mother of their adoptive child, as the adoption process is usually more open. A relationship can then be formed between them so that trust can be built up. If the mother is still pregnant, they can share the pregnancy and some can even witness the birth of the child they are adopting. This is an extraordinary moment for any adoptive parents to witness as they can meet their baby as soon as it is born.
Their are opportunities for parents adopting internationally to meet their child, but usually their first visual sighting is of a photo. The photos are provided by the relevant adoption agency, and this is enough to stir up excitement and anticipation in the parents to be. The concept of meeting their child for the first time is once which is indescribeable and unique to each couple. Once all the relevant paperwork has been completed and passed through, the couple usually have to travel to the child’s home country to meet them initially. This is necessary so that they can see the child in their own native homeland and within their own culture. The parents to be can then experience and learn about the culture and customs of the child in their own country. This is also the ideal opportunity to meet the child they have seen and heard so much about for the first time. The child is also given a chance to meet their new parents, although the language barrier could pose a problem. Usually, an interpreter is provided for such an occasion. Meeting their child for the first time brings great joy for any parents to be, knowing that this is the child they can in the future take home to nurture and care for as their own. As the adoption process focusses on all the homework and the legal documents that need to be processed, the adoptive parents only have a photo of the child to motivate them. All the challenges and the hard work pays off at the end, when the parents to be finally get to meet and hold their adoptive child for the first time.
All sorts of emotions are unleashed when meeting your adoptive child at the first meeting. To most it has taken years of applications, being screened with home assessments, medical and any criminal backgrounds being checked out and watching your life savings deplete, so a flood of emotions are released. Any worries or stress that came in relation to the adoption process, are soon erased when meeting your adoptive child for the very first time. The very first meeting needs the adoptive parents to be understanding and most of all patient.
Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
There could be an advantage to private adoption. Prospective parents may be able to meet the birth mother of their adoptive child, as the adoption process is usually more open. A relationship can then be formed between them so that trust can be built up. If the mother is still pregnant, they can share the pregnancy and some can even witness the birth of the child they are adopting. This is an extraordinary moment for any adoptive parents to witness as they can meet their baby as soon as it is born.
Their are opportunities for parents adopting internationally to meet their child, but usually their first visual sighting is of a photo. The photos are provided by the relevant adoption agency, and this is enough to stir up excitement and anticipation in the parents to be. The concept of meeting their child for the first time is once which is indescribeable and unique to each couple. Once all the relevant paperwork has been completed and passed through, the couple usually have to travel to the child’s home country to meet them initially. This is necessary so that they can see the child in their own native homeland and within their own culture. The parents to be can then experience and learn about the culture and customs of the child in their own country. This is also the ideal opportunity to meet the child they have seen and heard so much about for the first time. The child is also given a chance to meet their new parents, although the language barrier could pose a problem. Usually, an interpreter is provided for such an occasion. Meeting their child for the first time brings great joy for any parents to be, knowing that this is the child they can in the future take home to nurture and care for as their own. As the adoption process focusses on all the homework and the legal documents that need to be processed, the adoptive parents only have a photo of the child to motivate them. All the challenges and the hard work pays off at the end, when the parents to be finally get to meet and hold their adoptive child for the first time.
All sorts of emotions are unleashed when meeting your adoptive child at the first meeting. To most it has taken years of applications, being screened with home assessments, medical and any criminal backgrounds being checked out and watching your life savings deplete, so a flood of emotions are released. Any worries or stress that came in relation to the adoption process, are soon erased when meeting your adoptive child for the very first time. The very first meeting needs the adoptive parents to be understanding and most of all patient.
Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Abhishek has got some great Adoption Secrets up his sleeve! Download his FREE 76 Pages Ebook, “Adoption Made Easy” from his website http://www.Better-Parent.com/122/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.
Step-by-step Advice on How to Build a Successful Adoption Plan
December 13, 2009 by Adoption Information and Laws
Filed under About Adoption
1. Set clear goals for yourself; determine exactly what you want. For example: to
adopt a child under five years old from Korea or a healthy newborn in the United States.
Start research on the type of adoption professional who can help you accomplish this.
2. Determine the steps you have to take in order to reach your goal of adopting.
List obstacles you may have to overcome (financial limitations, age etc.)
3. Identify the resources and expertise you will need to acquire to overcome the
obstacles between you and your goals. You can’t seek out an adoption professional
unless you know what sort of adoption you want.
4. Search the Internet and follow through with referrals from other adoptive
parents. Select the most successful people in the areas in which you need help with
your adoption.
5. Join positive email lists, support groups and team up with others that have the
same goals and are supportive of adoption.
6. Once you have become involved, volunteer to monitor boards or chat groups,
and become actively involved in activity of these groups. You’ll learn much more about
the adoption process and meet the kind of people that can help you.
7. Research, study and apply what you learn to continually increase your
knowledge of the process of adoption. Listen to programs such as the topics on
www.LetsTalkAdoption.com. The very best professionals are going to be interested in
helping you if they feel you are completely dedicated to becoming an adoptive parent
and willing to take the steps needed. You may show your dedication by following
through in a timely fashion, developing a plan and sticking to each step without giving
up. There is nothing that will attract people to you faster than by being enthusiastic
about what you are doing and making adoption your priority at this time in your life.
8. When you find a potential adoption professional, don’t drive them nuts by being
a nuisance. Instead, ask for 15 minutes of their time by phone, in person, or by email to
ask questions you still have after doing your research. I am always surprised when we
receive emails from visitors to our site that ask simple questions that are answered on
the FAQs page /www.lifetimeadoption.com but they just don’t want to read it. Most
professionals are very busy with their practice whether it is facilitating, law, or preparing
home studies. They are bothered by people who take up a lot of their time asking
questions when the information is clearly available online. With the flood of emails and
calls an office receives, there is only so much time one can take to answer questions.
Potential adoptive parents should make sure these are important questions that pertain
to areas not covered in the literature or on the web site.
9. When you do meet with an adoptive professional, tell him or her clearly that
you are dedicated to building your family through adoption and you have a few
questions. Let them know you would very much appreciate a little guidance and advice
that would help you move closer to your goal. Ask for a specific answer to a question or
direction on where to go to get the answer: a book, tape, or web site for example. Make
sure to ask a specific question that you haven’t been able to have answered in research
or that is personal to your situation (i.e. you are stationed overseas and want to know
how to proceed, you have been married only one year and are not sure if the adoption
professional or organization has restrictions on length of marriage.)
10. Thank them by email or note for their time and guidance. Mention that you
hope you’ll be able to work together.
11. Once you are working with a professional, keep in touch, but don’t nag them.
Ask how often you should check in and with whom will you speak. If you can check in by
email and your professional has the time to respond by email that might work for you. If
not, an occasional phone call may work better. Report back to your professional if any
changes have occurred (i.e. you have found a child through another source, or you are
in need of a break from the adoption because of an emergency, etc.)
12. Be willing to help others, perhaps as a reference for your adoption professional,
by speaking to other families. The more open you are to helping the process along for
yourself and others, the more others will be open to helping you. Learn from others that
have been through adoption and share your knowledge with people interested in
adoption. Educate the public on how different adoption is today, and that it is very
needed and appreciated by all that are touched by adoption.
Whatever adoption you decide to pursue, be sure that you have done your homework.
You will find you have fewer surprises when you know what to expect: the risks in some
adoptions, time frames, and the cost variance in each adoption. With planning, you will
be on your way to a smoother adoption and hopefully enjoyable journey.
Thanks to Mardie Caldwell, COAP for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
adopt a child under five years old from Korea or a healthy newborn in the United States.
Start research on the type of adoption professional who can help you accomplish this.
2. Determine the steps you have to take in order to reach your goal of adopting.
List obstacles you may have to overcome (financial limitations, age etc.)
3. Identify the resources and expertise you will need to acquire to overcome the
obstacles between you and your goals. You can’t seek out an adoption professional
unless you know what sort of adoption you want.
4. Search the Internet and follow through with referrals from other adoptive
parents. Select the most successful people in the areas in which you need help with
your adoption.
5. Join positive email lists, support groups and team up with others that have the
same goals and are supportive of adoption.
6. Once you have become involved, volunteer to monitor boards or chat groups,
and become actively involved in activity of these groups. You’ll learn much more about
the adoption process and meet the kind of people that can help you.
7. Research, study and apply what you learn to continually increase your
knowledge of the process of adoption. Listen to programs such as the topics on
www.LetsTalkAdoption.com. The very best professionals are going to be interested in
helping you if they feel you are completely dedicated to becoming an adoptive parent
and willing to take the steps needed. You may show your dedication by following
through in a timely fashion, developing a plan and sticking to each step without giving
up. There is nothing that will attract people to you faster than by being enthusiastic
about what you are doing and making adoption your priority at this time in your life.
8. When you find a potential adoption professional, don’t drive them nuts by being
a nuisance. Instead, ask for 15 minutes of their time by phone, in person, or by email to
ask questions you still have after doing your research. I am always surprised when we
receive emails from visitors to our site that ask simple questions that are answered on
the FAQs page /www.lifetimeadoption.com but they just don’t want to read it. Most
professionals are very busy with their practice whether it is facilitating, law, or preparing
home studies. They are bothered by people who take up a lot of their time asking
questions when the information is clearly available online. With the flood of emails and
calls an office receives, there is only so much time one can take to answer questions.
Potential adoptive parents should make sure these are important questions that pertain
to areas not covered in the literature or on the web site.
9. When you do meet with an adoptive professional, tell him or her clearly that
you are dedicated to building your family through adoption and you have a few
questions. Let them know you would very much appreciate a little guidance and advice
that would help you move closer to your goal. Ask for a specific answer to a question or
direction on where to go to get the answer: a book, tape, or web site for example. Make
sure to ask a specific question that you haven’t been able to have answered in research
or that is personal to your situation (i.e. you are stationed overseas and want to know
how to proceed, you have been married only one year and are not sure if the adoption
professional or organization has restrictions on length of marriage.)
10. Thank them by email or note for their time and guidance. Mention that you
hope you’ll be able to work together.
11. Once you are working with a professional, keep in touch, but don’t nag them.
Ask how often you should check in and with whom will you speak. If you can check in by
email and your professional has the time to respond by email that might work for you. If
not, an occasional phone call may work better. Report back to your professional if any
changes have occurred (i.e. you have found a child through another source, or you are
in need of a break from the adoption because of an emergency, etc.)
12. Be willing to help others, perhaps as a reference for your adoption professional,
by speaking to other families. The more open you are to helping the process along for
yourself and others, the more others will be open to helping you. Learn from others that
have been through adoption and share your knowledge with people interested in
adoption. Educate the public on how different adoption is today, and that it is very
needed and appreciated by all that are touched by adoption.
Whatever adoption you decide to pursue, be sure that you have done your homework.
You will find you have fewer surprises when you know what to expect: the risks in some
adoptions, time frames, and the cost variance in each adoption. With planning, you will
be on your way to a smoother adoption and hopefully enjoyable journey.
Thanks to Mardie Caldwell, COAP for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a Certified Open Adoption Practitioner, an award winning author of 2 adoption books Adopting Online and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide. Mardie is also the talk show host of Let’s Talk Adoption.com with Mardie Caldwell and the founder of Lifetime Adoption in 1986. She travels and speaks nationwide on adoption topics, family topics, infertility and writing. She has been quoted in and consulted for Parenting and Adoption magazines and has appeared on CNN, CBS, ABC, BBC, NBC, and Fox. Featured in Parade Magazine, Caldwell is an adoptive mother living in Northern California.
