While it is true that most of the info collected on a child put up for adoption is documented on the child’s adoption records and these are typical of most states, which means an inclusion of comprehensive medical and genetic background details besides social, mental health, religious, ethnic and educational records, some states may require even more in-depth information. This includes more detailed family history and racial origin details as well as dental history, vaccination and developmental health records and the mandatory academic progress records.

At times, adoption records may also contain eligibity information or exclusivity outlines that indicate the states where the child can be adopted with federal adoption support, such as extended to citizens of the States of Michigan, Missouri, Nevada, Texas, Vermont, Oklahoma and Rhode Island.

Apart from birth parent’s history and background details, a home study also serves the purpose of enabling the adoption agency or state department with the opportunity to gather info on medical history, socio-economic background, the family’s mental health history, spiritual inclinations and to what extent the child’s parents are educated; all these details help determine a child’s future and are included in the adoptive records. Still other states ask for more detailed adoptive records that include description of parent’s looks, skills, hobbies, career and medication that the birth mother may have been taking at the time of her pregnancy; other states exist that provide adoptive parents futher identifying info about the birth parents and the child’s background such as name and address (Colorado, New York and American Samoa are some examples.)

Adoptive records help prospective parents determine what kind of a family background they are willing to adopt a child from and also where vice versa i.e help the birth parents and state/adoption agency ascertain whethere the adoptive family’s atmosphere and backgroudn will be suitable to the child concerned. Thus, the home study also includes aspects of a couple’s life that may affect the adoption of a child, such as a criminal background, instance of child abuse or history of the prospective parent’s health, emotional maturity and stability of finances besides the social aspects.

Among the hardest states to adopt from, Montana is surely the one that tops the list, for they ask for occupational, drug or alcohol abuse and domestic violence history besides the racial-ethnic background details of the adoptive parents and some of these categories of information also need to be filled up by the states of New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, West Virginia, Arizona, Illinois, Vermont, Puerto Rico, Pennsylvania and the District of Columbia, for their adoption records.

After the final documentation for the adoption records as required by these demanding states has been filed properly and is found to be in order, they are duly signed by the judge and depending on the type of adoption procedure the couple concerned have opted for, these are sealed and kept confidential or left open to the public. In the case of an adoption record that is kept confidential, it is kept this way till such time as the adopted child becomes an adult.



Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

Adopt A Rescue Pet

Adoption is a whole new experience for all who play a part which includes the parents who bravely give up their child and also the adoptive parents who bravely adopt the child and also take good care of it. But we tend to overlook a very important group in this process-the adopted children. These children can face a number of problems.

The child, if adopted at a young age, may not be aware of the fact that he is being adopted until adolescence or sometimes later. At times rows based on identity may arise as these children believe that they belong to the family and it is difficult to accept that this is not true. On the other hand, children who are adopted at an older age can have other problems like thinking about why the birth parents gave them up or not being able to accept their adoptive parents. If parents belonging to a cultural, racial or ethnic group adopt children from a different background, it will lead to a problem for the child as he/she will try to identify with two within themselves.

The adult adoptee faces several problems that include low self-esteem, feeling of abandonment and also identity problems. These in turn may lead to depression, marital difficulties and alcohol abuse. This adoptee tends to find out information about their parents or other relatives, siblings or genetic history. Nothing of these issues is new. This happens so frequently to these adoptee and they have mechanisms that enable them to cope with the situation.

Spotting a support group can be a choice. Mingling with those who lead a similar life and face similar problems can be soothing to adoptee. We have heard that misery loves company and this is true in this case. Thus looking at people experiencing similar situations gives reassurance. These groups have forums which is a platform for this adoptee to share their problems and experiences. The American Adoption Congress and ALMA, some national support groups, can be of help to this adoptee.

The second option can be individual counseling. There are therapists and counselors who deal with adult adoptee. These also include adult adoptee. Several aspects of experiences of this adult adoptee can be treated by therapeutic treatment. This helps the adoptee with their interpersonal relationships, from feelings of abandonment and also helps them find their birth parents. This is a costly affair though, but there are group sessions offered by counselors that has features of both individual counseling and that of support groups.

Adoption is an experience that an adoptee has to live with. It neither ends with the finalization of adoption nor at the beginning of adulthood. Since it is life long, they have to find a way to get over all sorts of uneasiness. This is where the resources come to play .A website , www.adopting.org ,can prove to be a start for people facing such troubles, as it has all the that needed by the adoptee.



Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

Christian Based Adoption Agencies

Explaining adoption to a child is a very important as well as intricate issue. Adoptive parents need to consider the importance of telling their child that he or she is adopted at an age that the child would be able to understand without getting hurt. 

In the past, adoptive parents avoided to tell their children they were adopted in the fear of causing turbulence in the family. Without a doubt, this has been an utterly wrong tactics, mainly because adopted children always learn the truth at some point of their life. Sometimes, people who know about the adoption reveal the truth accidentally or even intentionally. In other cases, adoptees find documents that prove they have been adopted.

Almost all experts agree that children should be told about adoption prior to adolescence. However, deciding the best age to talk to a child about adoption is not an one-time decision. Instead, it is an ongoing process. 

Some adoptive parents choose to repeat the word “adoption” to their infants so that they get used to listening to the word without, of course, understanding the meaning. However, as the infant grows to a child, it comes natural that he or she asks what adoption is about. 

Other adoptive parents choose to talk about adoption when their children turns 2 years old. Some experts suggest that this is wrong because explaining adoption to a preschooler may cause permanent emotional trauma. Many preschoolers express feelings of confusion and anxiety and feel insecure in their homes. This is mainly explained by the fact that, at this age, children have not yet fully developed their understanding about important issues such as adoption. However, instead of ignoring the issue, they keep on thinking that they live with strangers who are not their birth parents and they develop fear and anger. Other experts disagree and assert that, at this age, children consider adoption as a game, as something positive that has happened in their lives. Particularly, if they grow up in a warm and loving environment, they develop positive feelings for their adoptive parents and feel protected in the family. By the time they grow up, they are fully affiliated with the idea of adoption. 

Some adoptive parents wait until their children become 8 years old or even older. From one hand, children of this age have already understood concepts that relate to family and motherhood and maybe they have heard about adoption as well. Also, they are old enough to participate in this sensitive process. On the other hand, they are old enough to realize that for 8 years or more the people they consider biological parents are people who made the decision to adopt. And at the same time, their biological parents are absent for 8 years. So, what is of utmost importance is how delicately adoptive parents will treat this moment to communicate to their adopted children that there is nothing to fear of because they are adopted. 

Finally, there are adoptive parents that talk to their children about adoption when they become teenagers. Teenagers always deal with how they feet in society, what they want to become as adults and so on. Particularly, adopted teenagers have a strong need to find their personal identity, where they come from and where they belong. They may ask questions about their characteristics, talents and abilities. Therefore, adoptive parents must exploit any opportunity they get to explain adoption to their children in a simple, straightforward way. 

In any case, adoptive parents should have in mind that children need to know. It is unfair for a child not to know the truth about such an important issue. Family and home is a holy place. Typically, adopted children spend a lot of their lifetime to understand why they have been placed for adoption and what their life would have been like it they hadn’t been adopted. They also think that something was wrong with them and therefore their biological parents gave them up.

Considering all the above, adoption should be explained the earliest possible. Even if the child is too young to understand, still having heard about adoption will be helpful in the future. Adoptive parents should communicate the idea that they were so lucky to adopt a wonderful child. Using emotional overtone will definitely help in evoking a feeling of gratitude and excitement to the child. In any case, the least adopted people deserve is to get told the truth the soonest possible so that they don’t waste their lives trying to understand why.



Thanks to Christina Pomoni for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

How Do I Find My Birth Mother

Can you answer Sherrie’s question about Adoption?:

At the passing of my mother last year I found the court papers of my given birth name. The adoption records were sealed.
Whats the process to find birth parents names?

Adopting A Child From China

There has been a lot of discussion on whether open or closed adoptions are the best choice for prospective adoptive parents. Many adoptive parents are unaware of the differences between the two options and how their decision may affect their future family and personal life. Therefore, the first step in the adoption process is to understand what an open adoption is and why it may a better choice than a closed adoption.

An open adoption occurs when placing parents and adoptive parents meet in advance and create a relationship for the sake of the adopted child. Both sides exchange phone calls, visits, letters and contact information without requiring the adopting agency to bring them in contact prior to or after the placement of the child. In several cases, birth parents agree to pay periodic visits to their biological child and maintain contact with adoptive parents.

The main advantage of open adoptions for adopted children is the fact that both biological and adoptive parents are involved in the child’s life. Considering that adopted children always seek for their roots, an open adoption facilitates their efforts to find their biological parents. Knowing who these people are and understanding the real motive behind their decision to place their child for adoption helps adopted children to lead a more stable life and to enjoy the love of adoptive parents. With open adoptions, children do not have to wonder where they came from, who they took their characteristics from, how do their parents look like or why they are in a situation of adoption. Anytime, they can contact their biological parents and discuss with them their concerns, anxieties, and confusion.

When meeting birth parents, adopted children may relax their fears of getting abandoned from adoptive parents. In their mind, they always know that there are four people who love them regardless of the reasons that led biological parents to place them for adoption. Typically, the reasons for placing a child for adoption are related to financial difficulties, age, or even fear of being able to properly raise a child. However, as soon as adopted children realize that their biological parents did their best under given circumstances, they stop having emotional issues and they actually love to be loved by their biological parents. By coming to contact with birth parents, adopted children develop their identity and self-confidence and they get protected against feelings of abandonment that are often strong regardless of the love they enjoy from their adoptive family.

Apart from the advantages for adopted children, open adoptions have also advantages for the adoptive parents. Adoptive family is informed about the medical records of their adopted children and, to a certain extent, may anticipate any future medical symptoms that relate to genetic heritage. In this context, adoptive parents may develop better future family planning.

In addition, open adoptions help adoptive parents to overcome their fears about the birthmother who may change her mind and require her child back. By coming to contact with birth parents, adoptive families are aware of the intentions of the biological parents. In this context, communication between the two sides is the key to develop a great relationship that is helpful to the adopted child but also to the adoptive parents. In addition, open adoptions provide adoptive parents with a greater understanding about the adopted child’s history, genes, background and culture, which proves helpful when the child starts asking questions such as “Who am I?”, “Where do I come from?” and so on.

Birth families also benefit from open adoptions. By coming to contact with their biological child, birth parents reduce their feelings of guilt for placing the child for adoption. In many cases, biological parents become part of their child’s extended family and, in that way, they experience a sense of comfort for their child’s well-being. Seeing their child being raised in a loving household and being equipped with all the skills that they were unable to provide as birth parents is a really comforting feeling.

Adoptive parents should always have in mind that the open adoption experience varies for every family and for every adoption. The key to achieve all the potential advantages described above is good communication between all parties involved. Adoptive parents should put their fears of uncertainty aside and accept the presence of biological parents in their child’s life. On the other hand, biological parents should respect that adoptive parents are the ones who raise the adopted child and should not interfere in the upbringing process in order not to confuse the child. The more sincere the communication between adoptive and birth parents, the more likely is that both sides feel comfortable in the adoption process.



Thanks to Christina Pomoni for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

Adopt A Rescue Pet