Writing a letter to the birth mother is by far the most important thing you can do as a hopeful adoptive parent. It is typically the first contact you have with a potential birth mother, and should make the best first impression possible, while presenting a true representation of your life.

The letter is not about creating the “perfect” family picture – you should take care that you are conveying your life, your personality and a good representation of who you and your spouse are as a couple with complete reality to ensure the best match between you and the birth mother.

Your birth mother letter should include family photos of you, your spouse if you have one, and other family members. They should be of high quality, and portray you in a warm and loving close-up so that the birth mother can catch a glimpse of your personalities. Showing who you are is more important than how attractive you are! There are probably very few, if any, birth mothers who select the parents for their babies based on what they look like.

If you are scanning the photographs or copying them to include with more than one letter, be sure your copies are printed as clearly as the originals. Also make a good attempt to select photographs that will bring your letter to life.

While there are thousands of fonts that you can use to create your letter, make sure you select one that is easy to read and that you choose a font size that isn’t too small. You want to make it as easy as possible to encourage the birth mother to read your letter. Remember she is likely receiving a number of letters from which to select the family to adopt her baby, and the more you do to help yours stand out, the better off you’ll be.

In the letter, you want to write about the things that are important. Consider what would be important to you if you had to place a baby with an adoptive family for some reason – those are the details you want to write about. What makes you a good mother or father? What makes you unique? What is the family life like – does one parent work while the other stays home to raise the children? How will you provide for the baby’s physical and emotional needs?

The birth mother has to make a very difficult decision. No matter her reason for placing her baby for adoption, she will want to find a family who can provide the best environment and home. This usually means she wants a loving family who can provide for the baby’s physical and emotional needs.

When you sign your letter, don’t forget to include a p hone number where you can be reached twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. You never know when a birth mother will be ready to talk, and having full accessibility shows you are committed to becoming a parent.



Thanks to Cindy Simonson for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

State Adoption Laws

As soon as ten to fifteen years ago, almost all adoption agencies had some very strict criteria about who could adopt a baby… and about who could not adopt a baby or child. Typically, you had to fit a “cookie cutter” like mold of the perfect family. You were expected to be a heterosexual married couple, under the age of 40, and meet high financial income requirements in order to prove your ability to adequately care for the adopted baby. If you didn’t fall within this “cookie cutter” family image that the adoption agencies were looking for, you wouldn’t be able to domestically adopt a child.

Currently, the number of progressive adoption agencies that have more liberal adoption standards has been increasing steadily to reflect the needs and changes within our society. In fact, when you work with any adoption professional, whether it be with an adoption attorney, adoption facilitator, or an adoption agency, you will notice that there is a big difference in their approach.

When you are choosing the type of adoption professional to work with, you will want to take the time to interview the different options before making your decision, particularly if you are a single individual looking to adopt, someone over the age of 40, or in a relationship that some might consider to be alternative. Not only are there differences among the various types of adoption professionals, but no two agencies or professionals within the same category will operate in the same manner, either. It’s important that you are comfortable with your adoption professional and that they are willing to help you adopt according to your unique lifestyle.

You may be surprised to learn that some professionals will only work with people who are under a certain age, while others have no age limits at all. You maybe didn’t realize that some adoption professionals will only work with people who are of a certain religions affiliation, either. In some cases, you’ll notice that an adoption professional does not openly announce his or her restrictions, but they seem to take a very judgmental approach.

Adoption is already a confusing and stressful process, there is no reason to work with anyone who is going to make it even more stressful. There is no reason to work with any professional who may make you feel judged or intimidated – simply find someone else who is more open to different adoption scenarios. Not all families need to resemble Leave it to Beaver or the Cosby Show to offer a loving and safe environment for an adopted child.

No matter what your personal circumstances, if you are 45 years old, or unmarried for example – if you can offer an adopted child love and safety, fulfill their basic needs, and provide for their ongoing financial needs, there is an adoption professional out there who will be willing to help you find your child. Interviewing a few different adoption professionals to learn about their criteria for people who are eligible to adopt will ensure that the professional you decide to work with has your best interests in mind and will work with you to fulfill your personal adoption plan.



Thanks to Cindy Simonson for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

Cost Of International Adoption