Once the adoption process starts, there are two ways it could go down. It will be either a closed adoption or an open adoption. Closed adoptions are the way adoptions were traditionally done. There is no contact between the prospective parents and the birth mother. All information, the limited information, is given through the adoption agency. In an open adoption, both parties have an open line of communication. The birth mother actually picks the family she wants her child to go to and then spends time learning about the family.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both scenarios. The prospective parents have to know how they are going to be most comfortable. Parents might get the jitters of knowing the birth mother and have an issue with knowing who she is. Others want to know exactly where their child is coming from.

The term open adoption might seem misleading. Just because it is open doesn’t mean anyone is privy to the information regarding the adoption. Only the birth mother and the prospective parents are allowed to know details. An adoption agent will pair a mother and a potential family and exchange information about the parties. If it progresses further, the two clients will meet and possibly exchange contact information. This way the two families can stay in touch with each other. Prospective parents need to be cautious in dealing with this type of adoption. While there have been loads of successful cases, there have been horror stories associated with open adoptions. The birth mother uses this as a way to get extra money from the parents. More money than was initially agreed upon. Be cautious and vigil.

The key to a good open adoption is having great communication. Ask as many questions as possible and don’t be afraid to answer any questions. Being honest will go a long way in open adoptions. Another thing to consider in open adoptions is the future of your child. When the child learns that they were adopted, they might want to meet the birth mother. In this case, it will be easier to find the birth mother.

Some prospective parents might feel uncomfortable in this situation. The parents are desperate for a child; they don’t want to do anything to scare away the birth mother. They fear saying or doing the wrong thing. They worry the birth mother will not like them. If this type of situation is too much too handle, closed adoptions might be a better fit for prospective parents.

Closed adoptions offer limited information about the parties. Historically, such limited information led to problems between the clients, but that is not the case anymore. Adoption agencies handle the situations with utmost care. The agencies are there to make both parties are happy with the least amount of complications. In this situation, it is usually left up to the adoptive parents to let the child know he or she was adopted. It is also usually harder for an adopted child to find his birth mother, which could lead to problems down the line.

There are many things to consider when deciding on either an open or closed adoption. Go through the list of options and decide what situation you are going to be most comfortable with to make the adoption process as painless as possible.



Thanks to Abhishek Agarwal for contributing this article to our Adoption blog:

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